Why women proposing is still rare even in a leap year

By Milena Gorska Wedding & Private Events Manager at The Brewery
Women have come a long way in the last century, from a time of not being able to vote, hold positions of power or have autonomy over our own bodies and relationships, we have seen first-hand the revolutionary changes being made. The world has made significant advances towards gender equality and female empowerment; we have seen the number of women in the workplace and in leadership positions rise, pay levels are starting to equalise and gender diversity and inclusion has become a priority for many organisations. Yet still, to this day, many archaic traditions remain – including the ideology that only men can propose to women. 
For the first time since 2016, we find ourselves with a 29-day February and a 366-day year; a leap year. Tradition states that, on this elusive extra day, women can take destiny into her own hands and propose to her loved one. Whilst we cannot be sure where or when this tradition came from, legend has it that an Irish nun called St Bridget complained to St Patrick that women had to wait too long for their suitors to propose. It was then agreed that on February 29th, occurring once every four years, would be the date on which a woman can ask the all-important question; “will you marry me?”
So why, when gender equality is firmly on the rise, do women still fear what society might say if they break this sacred rule and propose?
Fear of rejection Some women still want the man to step up and do as society has been doing for centuries; it makes women feel loved and wanted. Also, more often than not, women are ready to take the relationship to the next step before men – research shows that the average age for first marriages is now 27 for women and 29 for men, compared to 20 for women and 23 for men in 1960 – so there is always the fear that they could be moving too quickly and will be rejected. 
Societal changes We are living in a society where the average age of marriage is older than ever before; with younger couples focusing more on buying property or starting a family, the dream proposal and sparkly ring are less important than ever before. Where once couples married before co-habiting, researched showed that those who get married face a 33% greater risk of divorce than couples who choose alternative living arrangement. 
Tradition While female empowerment remains a hot topic, it’s not to say that tradition is no longer required; for many women, they like the idea of men initiating a proposal, as often it is the women who are planning outings, holidays, dates etc. So, when women do get an unexpected proposal, it’s a charming nod towards tradition. 
Stigma Nowadays, everything we do is social media-centric, many women may worry about what their followers (including family and friends) would say if they were to share a ‘he said YES’ post. For men, they may also feel this is an attack on their masculinity, as tradition and society states this would have been their role. 
While I don’t think we’ll be breaking this tradition any time soon, we have another four years to change opinions before the next leap year, I believe as a society we should empower the idea of women proposing all year round. With the support of their friends and family, we should face the fear of rejection and stigma head on. In a society which is rapidly equalising gender roles, perhaps it’s time for a new set of traditions for the new, modern woman?